Glee’s return to TV deserves more than a partially burned bag of popcorn or a half-eaten bag of cheesy poofs. With all the buzz surrounding the musical-slash-dramedy about a band of high school misfits, I felt like the show deserved a special snack all its own.
Initially, I planned on featuring dishes from the show itself, like Rachel Berry’s “I’m Sorry” cookies or a (legal) version of Puck’s Nanna’s special cupcakes, but then I thought of the frightening and majestic figure that is Sue Sylvester and the empire she calls … (wait for it, wait for it) … Cheerios.
In that moment, I knew I needed a Cheerios-themed dish. It had to be something with a blend of flavors complex enough to match Sue’s conniving schemes AND the Cheerios’ national-title-winning routines (hence the chocolate-meets-marshmallow-meets-coconut), yet it also had to have a hint of the familiar, just as those pom-pom-brandishing cheermongers seem to embody self-absorbed mean girls everywhere (hence the Rice Krispie-esque consistency and ordinary ingredients — nothing too exotic here).
So here they are — a no-bake, ready-in-minutes dessert that’s chewy enough to occupy the mouths of those friends you invited over who don’t seem to understand that there is NO talking during a Sylvester/Shuester confrontation, and who insist on warbling offkey to every musical act — regardless of whether they know the words. You can thank me later.
Utensils required: large mixing bowl, medium microwave-safe bowl, measuring cups, spoonula, baking sheet or brownie tray (or a casserole dish — whatever’s clean and available!), sheet of wax paper (to reduce messiness later)
- 2 tablespoons butter
- 1 cup coconut
- 3 cups chocolate Cheerios
- 5 ounces (1/2 bag) of mini-Marshmallows
Time commitment: 15 minutes to prepare, 20 minutes to cool
Steps (makes one 9″x9″ tray of thick treats; about 9-12 pieces):
1. Unwrap the butter and put it in the mircowave-safe bowl, then microwave it for 30 seconds. While the butter melts, measure out the appropriate amounts of marshmallows, cereal and coconut.
2. Next, pour the marshmallows in with the melted butter and mix the two around, coating the jet-puffed delights with butter. Stick ‘em back in the microwave for another 25 seconds. When you’re done, stir them around. If the butter and marshmallows have fully melted and combined into a fluffy, white goo, you’re ready for step 3. If not, put the mix in for another 25 seconds and repeat the process until it’s ready.
3. Pour the chocolate Cheerios and coconut into the large mixing bowl, then carefully dump the marshmallow goo on top of it. (And yes, ‘goo’ is the proper culinary term.) Use the spoonula to mix everything together.
4. Now, grab that sheet of wax paper and cover your casserole dish/baking sheet/brownie tin/whatever. Pour the treat mixture inside, spreading it evenly throughout the dish, and stick it in the refrigerator to cool for 20 minutes. In the meantime, wash your dishes so the goo doesn’t permanently adhere itself to the bowls!
Important Note: If you want, use a cookie cutter to cut them out into star shapes. Rachel Berry would approve.
Useless Note: Avoid going for seconds if that wise-cracking, Sue-wannabe in your group is watching, lest you face a lecture on how fat Cheerios make the pyramid tumble. And that’s just hurtful.